I know I’ve been off the blog a while and content had been withdrawn a while but as it is here in Nigeria. With the weather, school activity and of course the block of all time. It has kept inactive and all away but this should mean we will be having more contents and more blogging.
As regular as possible.
Happy August! My month started off well as I realized a lot of things people dont know. And yes it’s not a taboo to talk about your sex experience. Especially with closed ones. Make it a form of sex education. It’s very important as vital.
So early hours of yesterday, I got a link to a blog post by a Muslim blogger whom I’m not really familiar with. In that post she talked her first sex experience as an embarrassing one. She said she would rather spend the whole day sobbing and regretting than talk about. I got really engrossed in the post and decided to read more. As we all know, sex is the act of penetration of the male sex organ known as the penis into the females organ known as the vagina, commonly used as a mode to make babies-reproduction. She was a Muslim since birth and had not had a single sex experience. She met her husband through a phone call which was not all informal so she kept on meeting up with him and went on dates with him till they got married 2 years and 1 month later. She only knew or had knowledge of sex through her friends who were experienced and through out all her research to know about sex she only knew it will be all fun and pleasure. Nothing strange.
Her wedding was all successful and they were ready to head off for their honey moon. So immediately after the wedding and dance off, they went straight out for their honey moon in a park, I can’t remember correctly. As normal her husband made the first move, poured ice cream all over her face down to her body to make her feel comfortable and then her licked and began to go straight foreplay also using the tip of his penis to warm her up. She felt she was ready. With their bodies all excited, he tried to penetrate but he couldn’t. All she could feel was pain, her husband didn’t want to hurt her so he tried to make both of them go to rest but she insisted and said they should just try and when they tried and tried all she could feel was pain and she cried out a bit. Her husband covered her up and put her head on his chest and put her to sleep. She woke up the next morning, feeling embarrassed and very unusual. She felt the worst and she thought she wasnt normal.
I thought my wedding would be amazing, but it brought more pain than pleasure, She said.
After that sleepless night, they spent the morning discussing why their first night had gone so badly, while browsing the internet for answers. She wanted to know why she’d experience so much pain, as opposed to the pleasure she longed for. She had learned that sex could be painful for first-timers. But she would always hear that it was just a slight pain caused by the puncturing of the hymen, which was immediately succeeded by pleasure.
As she found out firsthand, this was a fallacy, at least in her own case. But she couldn’t be the first woman to ever experience this, so why was no one talking about it? Was it taboo? Something never to be mentioned out loud? As much as she thought she had learned about sex, she began to realize there was so much she’d missed in my research.Her husband and her decided not to try again until we were both psychologically ready. After all, they told each other, every marriage is different and unique in its own way.
About a week after her wedding, she sought the opinion of a dear friend who happens to be a gynecologist. After a brief examination, she said that she had a lot of hymenal tissue which was relatively inflexible. It was this tissue that was causing her so much pain.
Of course this made her research about the different hymens and how they affect the body. Where we grow up nobody ever puts emphasis on how the hymen is what it should be. All they cared about is that it should be intact.But the hymen,a thin membrane surrounding the opening to the vagina, actually comes in different shapes and sizes. The “normal” hymen, which is the most common, has the shape of a half moon. There are, however, three other types of hymen that can complicate first-time sex.
The imperforate hymen completely covers the opening to the vagina. In addition to preventing anything from coming in, menstrual blood cannot flow out. There’s also the microperforate hymen, which almost completely covers the opening to the vagina. It typically doesn’t affect the flow of menstrual blood, but it can be very difficult to insert or remove a tampon. Lastly, the septate hymen has a band of extra tissue that creates two vaginal openings instead of one.
Learning about all these hymenal variations made me realize how little understanding I have of my own body. She wished that I had taken the time to get familiar with her own vagina, instead of waiting till her wedding night to discover something so crucial about herself.
She had 2 options. Either to do a minor surgery to remove the excess tissue or do lots and lots of foreplay and application of lubes before sex. Her phobia for surgery made her choose the second option. In which even after all the foreplay they would do and even the husband using the tip to warm her up made her bleed all the times she had sex. It brought her so much pain not until 17 months later after she gave birth to her first child through pushing and finally started having sex like every normal person and experiencing pleasure in intercourse.
This is really a wake up call every female out there, even myself we should learn more about our bodies and get more exposed with or without the help of our family members or relatives as the case may be. We should just be aware. Explore your body and know what exactly your body needs and the parts to pay attention to. We should learn to be more familiar with our own anatomy instead of giving in to those of our friends. Our bodies are different and need different types of attention.
Sex is natural. It is not something to be ashamed of. Various cultures and societies have presented sex to us as something so private and shameful that we have forgotten to look into why God created something so beautiful in the first place. Instead of sweeping sensitive issues under the carpet, and suffering in silence when things go wrong, maybe we should all be a little more honest about what goes on behind closed doors.
Let’s be more closer to our bodies from now on. Learn our bodies and know what we need.
Love and extreme light♡♡♡
02/08/2019
Keepingupwithtee_ 