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“Well, I never thought I’ll ever be this anxious about meeting a guy but I like this one. His name is Abisola and he is a Lagos boy and he says he likes thick girls but I’m worried. I’m not even that sleek. My tummy is too big,I don’t even stand a chance. Look at my arms sha, I really want him to see me perfectly. I’m not good enough. I’m definitely going to have to book a cosmetic surgery appointment with Dr. Anu after all we are not going to be meeting till 3 months time. If I can look for the money and get this thing done. I’m sure the only thing left to pimp will be little work. I can’t possibly loose all this weight within 3 months without cutting through.”
“Sikeeee! But is this worth it?”

No baby girl. It’s not.

For the love of God please cut it out!

Physical attraction is not the only thing that makes this man find you so attractive he wants to crawl in your skin and spend the weekend there. I wish more women would understand this simple fact.
I mean I can’t ignore the fact that the thought of being inadequate creeps in buttttt you’re perfect for the heart that is meant to love you.

In the course of the blog post I spoke to a couple of sophisticated singles who are very good looking and are very sure about what the idea of a partner should be;

Ayo:

“I happen to be a very handsome man but… I personally love very intelligent, witty women that make me laugh and are fun to be with, yeah if she’s cute, that’s a bonus, but stunning looks are actually low on my list. When I talk about this things with my friend they are shocked why? Because when anyone meets up with me the very first thing they think of me is “the guy who loves girls with perfect brows, pimped body, straight legs and all that stuff” but I like to shock them. If you’re not smart then you’re not it because I’d rather have an intelligent and smart lady by me to help me through life than have an attractive woman who probably only cares about the shoe to wear church the following Sunday”

Kossi:

” I need a woman that makes love to my mind just by being herself. I think about her all the time and I can’t wait to call her why? Cause she’s gasp – actually INTERESTING and EXCITING just by being herself!

I’ve dated some stunning women who seem to think that all they need to do is sit there and look cute while being as interesting as watching moss grow on wet wood. Eewww!”

Liam:

“To me there is nothing on earth worse than a stunningly gorgeous but unintelligent woman ugh! Total turn off!

The lady I’m currently dating, the first time I took her out with some friends, after I dropped her off. My friends laughed, mocked her walking step, said she didn’t have class and she was too low class and they were guessing I was only after her for sex. But voilà! I didn’t even want to date her cause she was pretty or anything. She is smart, I mean effortlessly. I can look at her all day just trying to work. It makes her look so sexy and I feel soo proud of her than anything in the world right now. Period!”

The truth is,If you keep freaking out about being what you wrongly perceive as being “unattractive” you will eventually drive him away. Just continue being yourself.

Thing is, if he does decide to move on you will convince yourself that it’s because of you were “perceived unattractiveness”, which would NOT be it at ALL. You would’ve simply voted yourself off the island.

This guy DIGS you, DIGS being with you, finds you an amazing human being. I bet he’s dated several stunning moss growing on wet wood type women and HATED IT. You are like awesome sunshine after that horrible storm. Enjoy the moment with him and quit ruining it with your insecurity.

At the very least, use this as a learning opportunity to understand that here is far more depth to you than just your physical appearance.

You should want to look and feel good FOR YOU, no one else!

I want to work out for ME!

I want to look good for ME!

And want to feel good, for ME!

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As a woman, its very easy to base how attractive you are or how good you are allowed to feel about yourselves on the level of attention you receive from men.

Growing up we are constantly told by the media and society what men “want” and “deem attractive”

We need to be curvy but not too curvy.

We need to have a big bum but not too big.

We need to be toned but not too masculine.

We need to be slim but not too slim – and on and on it goes.

I personally have wasted years thinking that I was only attractive if a man thought I was. I placed a lot of the confidence I had in myself in the hands of the partners I was with or potential partners I was speaking to.

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Your validation and confidence should be in no one else’s hands but YOUR OWN!

You deserve to feel good FOR YOU!

You deserve to look good FOR YOU!

Your partner or potential partner should NOT be the SOLE reason for your confidence, they should only ADD to the confidence you already have!

Your worth should NEVER be dictated by someone else’s inability to see it.

It’s important you make steps to give YOURSELF that validation you truly DESERVE, only then will no one else be able to take it from you ♥️ –

Being;
Attractive:
Pleasing or appealing to the senses

Beautiful:
Pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.
If you ask me, I would only want to be remembered as “beautiful” than “attractive”.
Attractive is good but tbh everybody is to someone but it takes a true beauty to recognize beauty.

So stay beautiful
You are beautiful !!

Love and light💕 Tee.

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